GIVE YOU A BABY

I know you want me to give it to you.  I see you talking to your friends and giggling.  I been wanting to do this since the day we met.  No time for safe sex.  Let’s get dangerous.

Everyone’s asking me, “So, when you gonna do it with her?”  I’m like, “soon.”  They’re like, “Well, how soon?”  And I’m like, “Mom, shut up!”

I’m gonna give you a baby.  I’m gonna give you a baby.  I’m gonna give you a baby, Baby.  Baby.  Baby.

Tonight it’s gonna be “XX” or possibly “XY”.

I tell people we’re trying for a baby, and when I say that they get so excited.  And, I know that’s true because they’re picturing us doing it.

I planned this out scientifically down to the very last little detail.  I got your cycle marked on my calendar.  Until you’re ovulating, I’ll be patiently waiting.

I haven’t touched myself in over three days.  How sexy is that?  Like Whitney Houston said, “I’m saving all my love for you”.

I’m gonna give you a baby.  What do you think?  I’m gonna give you a baby.  Chubby and pink.  I’m gonna give you a baby, Baby.  Baby.  Baby.

Now, hold on.  Wait a minute, girl.  I’m gonna be real.  I’m so honored you want me for my father material.  You got me under your skin.  I’ll give you My Everything.  Right now I’m holding you tight, but I’m Your Baby Tonight.

[CRYING LIKE A BABY]

I think I just gave you a baby.  Three minutes and forty-seven seconds… of passion.  I better update my facebook status to “Father”.  I feel… like a sandwich.  No.  Pickles.  You know what that means… sympathy pregnancy.  Wait.  Does that mean I have to stop drinking?