ILLEGAL PEOPLE

I live a hardworking upstanding life

With six types of insurance, two kids and one wife,

Three cars, one pool, I pay taxes on time,

And I satisfy my wife each Wednesday at nine.

But, there are some people who don’t live like I do.

They work under the tables.  They clean tables too.

They’re short and they’re brown.  They don’t speak English good,

And they’re living their lives in my neighborhood.

Illegal people!  I want you out

After you finish cleaning my house,

Grooming my dog, my lawn needs a mow.  I’ll see you at The Home Depot.

Serve me or go.

Don’t call me racist.  I have a black friend.

His family came here legally in 1810.

And, my friend’s grandparents who are Chinese

Were imported legally to lay train tracks for free.

They’ve been moving into my town for decades,

Removing poultry liver for paltry wages.

Living in sin, but they’re in my church too.

My kids get rejected where their kids go to school.

Illegal people!  They march on my street.

How dare they demand anything out of me?

It’s illegal every time they breathe.

It’s against the law each time their hearts beat.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…

Ah!  Ah!  Ooh, Ah!  [a la Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song”]

My family came to this country with a legal, written, royal decree.

They found illegal people on this land living,

So they kicked them out in the name of The King.

Then, they planted tobacco and brought in black people.

They wanted more money, so they made The King illegal.

Then, they thanked God for all of their blessings

And kept moving west to take land from the Mexicans,

Mexicans, Mexicans, Mexicans, Mexicans….

Illegal People!  They threaten us all.

Dios mio!  Me quieren matar!

Illegals sacrifice and they die,

But they leave legal kids with full legal rights.

Then those legal children blend right in,

Lose their accent, become citizens

Who scream and shout at the new generations they see

Of illegal people who give birth to legal people like me.