ONCE IN A LIFETIME

(Parody of “Lose Yourself” by Eminem)

I’m in college.  I hope my knowledge is ready.  I’m scared to death like it’s Jason versus Freddy.  I said goodbye to my Mom’s spaghetti, my best friend, Eddie,

I’m into the great wide open just like Tom Petty.

There’s a room that I gotta share with a kid who still sleeps with a teddy bear

He leaves his underware on my desk chair.  Damn, dude!  That’s not my pubic hair!

College is like Double Dare except without Mark Summers.

Kids dare each other to drink bong water.

Glug, glug, glug.  Damn, dude, that doesn’t taste so great.

Oh, for real?  Well, screw your head on straight.

I can’t concentrate.  I’m always waking up late.

I lock the door to my room so I can master…my classes so I pass ‘em.

I’m fascinated with that Mel Gibson movie, “Ransom”.

Hey, you!  Give me back my son!  Wrong number?  Ha, well, that was fun!

But, college is the best.

You write papers, roll papers and have sex.

So you better lose yourself in college.  There’s knowledge you’ll never let go.

Take another tequila shot.

This opportunity happens just once in a lifetime!