PRESIDENT WHO LOOKS LIKE ME

I heard Barack Obama is a Muslim who loves Allah.  I got a picture of him in Islamic dress.

He went to a Madrassa when he went to Indonesia, and Al Queda and him are like B.F.F.

Hussein’s his middle name.  Barrack Saddam Hussein Obama bin Laden Hitler Satan Seacrest Britney Spears Obama.

That’s his full name, y’all.  I read it in an email, so it’s real.

He hates Israel, and he’s got funny ears.

He went to church with Reverend Wright.  Reverend Wright.  Reverend Wright.

He hates whites.  Hates whitey.  Hates whitey.  Hates whites.

I saw him say, “God Damn America” on Sunday

Then, Barack cheered, made a fart with his armpit.  Hooray!

Yes, he’s a Muslim, he’s a scary Christian too.

Yes, both are possible.  He could also be a Jew.

I saw it on Fox News.  O’Reilley said it’s true dude.

Watch it on youtube and thank me later for the breaking news.

I just want my President to look like me.

Is that so wrong in this country?

I just want my President to look like me.

What the Hell’s going on in this country?  [repeat chorus]

He said white people cling to God and guns and only vote Republican.

Well, so what?  I got status cling.  I’m proud of it.

Grey Poupon, Evian, elitist heathen with no experience.

Won’t pledge allegiance, no lapel pin, wife ain’t proud to be an American.

Lee Greenwood stood up, Michelle kicked him in the nuts,

gave a fist-bump to Barack, he gave a speech to brainwash us.

Cover your ears kids, look away.  He’s at it again with fancy speeches like zombie Jesus

Making us all follow him.

Rush Limbaugh calls him Barry.  It makes me paranoid

Like Barry Bonds.  Al Sharpton times Jesse Jackson on steroids.

Not one of us, African.  Make us a Ray Nagin chocolate nation.

And, you never know what you’re gonna get on the White House lawn-

Fried chicken, watermelon, basketball?  That’s something to snack on, y’all

You want an affirmative action President taking the place of a white face instead?

That could be your kid in the White House looking down his white nose at us.

I just want my President to look like me.  Is that so wrong in this country?

I need my President to look like me.  What the hell’s going on in this country?

Here’s to the guy I would like to have a beer with.

Here’s to the guy I would like to be my friend.

Here’s to the guy I would like to shoot a deer with.

Here’s to the guy who should be my President.

I wish Jessie Helms could come back from the dead and make it okay to be racist again.

Come on, Imus and Rush.  On Hannity and Coulter.  Start saying what you’re thinking.

Ask the right questions, pollsters, like, “Do you think Obama thinks your white daughter’s attractive?”

“Does he want to raise your taxes ‘cause your great grandfathers were slave masters?”

Is this how you think it’ll be?  He defeated Hillary.

You want a black man who beats white women running the country?

I’m like Coors Banquet Beer.  I don’t plan on changing here.

I don’t like it when people ask me for change neither.

I’m like Paps Blue Ribbon.  I’m worth ten cents in Michigan.

And he won’t take my vote or take my taxes for financing?

Cover your ears, kids!  He’s speaking again.

You might catch the hope or the inspiration.

What’s that?  It’s in your imagination like the little snuggly white cub on the television who lives in our laundry bin.  Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee.

I just want my President to look like me

Cause Tiger Woods took golf from me.

Cause Jimi Hendrix took my guitar from me

And Kanye took my polo shirt from me.

I need my President to look like me

‘cause I feel like I’m stuck in a bad dream.

I want to wake up and scream, “I had a dream where whites and blacks had the same opportunities!”

Isn’t that scary?  Is that the type of world you want to live in?

What will the rest of the world think of our American system?

What will the rest of the world think when they look at our President?

That all people are equal?  The truth is self evident?

The American experiment has found a solution?

Possibly.  Maybe.  Totally.  But, I still think that it’s stupid.

Why can’t white guys like me just keep one simple thing:

Leader of the free world.  That’s all I’m asking.